Making or refusing an invitation is always tricky: finding the right words in French to do so with tact is essential. Furthermore, the grammatical constructions, verbs and tenses don’t always match between French and English. So you need to train a lot on this concept so the French way becomes natural to you…
To make, accept or refuse and invitation in French, we use mostly 3 irregular verbs : vouloir (want), pouvoir (can) and devoir (must).
Remember, when 2 verbs follow each other, the second one is in the infinitive; tu veux dinER.
You will find audio recordings of the verbs vouloir and devoir, and their correct modern French pronunciation + exercises in my French Verb Drills.
Table of ContentsTo say “would you like”, we say “do you want to” – we do not use the verb “aimer”, we use the verb “vouloir”. And we use the present tense, not the conditional.
Est-ce que tu veux dîner avec moi ?
Est-ce que vous voulez jouer au tennis avec nous ?
So, if you translate literally, we say “do you want to have dinner with me”, “Do you want to play tennis with us”, but the meaning is “would you like to…”: this is the polite way to invite someone in French.
You cannot translate word by word, so you need to train until this way of making an invitation in French sounds normal to you.
There are many ways to accept, but here are the most common:
Examples of accepting an invitation in French:
Refusing an invitation in French – or in any language – is not easy. You need to be tactful, not hurt the other person’s feelings, but also make the message clear. Let me warn you that the typical French may be a bit blunter than the Americans on this front…
We tend to use the expressions below:
Examples of politely refusing an invitation in French:
Note that in French, it is not considered rude to not say why you cannot accept the invitation. French people will often just say that they cannot, then offer another day to meet. In the States, people always said why they couldn’t make it, even when my students canceled a class…
I felt they were telling me too much, especially when this was business related. I guess that in France we are blunter when it comes to making/accepting/refusing invitations. It’s about finding a date that works for everybody, not about telling your personal life. I’m in no way judging, just pointing out cultural differences.
Note that in French, we use the verb “vouloir”in the conditional, just like in English, to ask for something politely.
Je voudrais réserver une table pour deux personnes s’il vous plaît.
To learn More on French politeness, I invite you to check out my audio masterclass on French politeness and greetings: on top of teaching you the modern French pronunciation of these quintessential French expressions, this lesson will explain cultural points such as tu versus vous, and give you plenty of practice with audio.